Wise Saying from Madrid, NM

i've been told that not all wise sayings are for everyone. but i solemnly want to say that this sign of wise saying is, in fact, for everyone.

circa. december 4, 2010

old but comforting, this is America you know

in this land of enhancement, ancient sings

for every drop of soil in the mountains and deserts

bleeds stories of past, where ancestors once flourished

that now lives quietly behind the hidden beauty of New Mexico.

all love stories are the same

There was Diego Rivera and his Frida

Or should we all disagree

For the chain was led by the matriarch of love

Frida who loved her Diego.

Diego was all she thought about

The producer of her joy and tears

Woes, heartbreaks, and betrayals,

Yet his embrace was the centerpiece of her everything.

There was John Lennon who left his wife

For a woman he fell in love at one party, Yoko Ono,

Their love story never broke up the group,

It made John Lennon the peacemaker.

A love story that was cut short

With the assassination of John,

Became a legend of a beautiful love story

Everyone saw the spell Ono had on John.

All love stories are the same if we really see it

Because what matters is how the person is felt during the time

If she or he feels, understands, and possesses love

Then all love stories are the same.

343 Townsend Ave, by the cove,

in the heart of Italian New Haven,

there lays a house of love, family, and compassion.

More than an address

More than a house

More than a set of grandparents.

But an address of where love is,

an house of compassion,

a set of grandparents that define family.

At this time of the year,

With my struggles & confusion,

I long to be at 343 Townsend Ave.

As I Went Out One Morning

Bob Dylan

As I went out one morning

To breathe the air around Tom Paine’s

I spied the fairest damsel

That ever did walk in chains

I offer’d her my hand

She took me by the arm

I knew that very instant

She meant to do me harm

“Depart from me this moment”

I told her with my voice

Said she, “But I don’t wish to”

Said I, “But you have no choice”

“I beg you, sir,” she pleaded

From the corners of her mouth

“I will secretly accept you

And together we’ll fly south”

Just then Tom Paine, himself

Came running from across the field

Shouting at this lovely girl

And commanding her to yield

And as she was letting go her grip

Up Tom Paine did run,

“I’m sorry, sir,” he said to me

“I’m sorry for what she’s done”

i love this poem

Starfish

by Eleanor Lerman

This is what life does. It lets you walk up to

the store to buy breakfast and the paper, on a

stiff knee. It lets you choose the way you have

your eggs, your coffee. Then it sits a fisherman

down beside you at the counter who says, Last night

the channel was full of starfish. And you wonder,

is this a message, finally, or just another day?

Life lets you take the dog for a walk down to the

pond, where whole generations of biological

processes are boiling beneath the mud. Reeds

speak to you of the natural world: they whisper,

they sing. And herons pass by. Are you old

enough to appreciate the moment? Too old?

There is movement beneath the water, but it

may be nothing. There may be nothing going on.

And then life suggests that you remember the

years you ran around, the years you developed

a shocking lifestyle, advocated careless abandon,

owned a chilly heart. Upon reflection, you are

genuinely surprised to find how quiet you have

become. And then life lets you go home to think

about all this. Which you do, for quite a long time.

Later, you wake up beside your old love, the one

who never had any conditions, the one who waited

you out. This is life's way of letting you know that

you are lucky. (It won't give you smart or brave,

so you'll have to settle for lucky.) Because you

stopped when you should have started again.

So life lets you have a sandwich, and pie for your

late night dessert. (Pie for the dog, as well.) And

then life sends you back to bed, to dreamland,

while outside, the starfish drift through the channel,

with smiles on their starry faces as they head

out to deep water, to the far and boundless sea.

this silence is valuable.

friendship

aging only spurs more questions and more reflections

this morning i asked myself, what does friendship mean?

for a long time, i was not a good friend.

i did not stay in touch. i did not make plans.

i spent more time with myself than sharing with others.

i used to believe that it was not worth wasting hours on other people.

and thought that others would not want to waste hours on me.

i grew up, only recently, if you ask

i opened my eyes and most of all, my heart

it made all difference as i want to share now

and i want to share and enjoy hours with my friends

as they would do the same for me

someone wise once said that to have friends is to be one.

aging also brings wisdom and honesty

this morning, i reminded myself to be a good friend.

Only in Santa Fe

So you see,

there is something

called hope

in each raining day

such a...

Sun brightens over Sangre de Cristo mountains,

coal miners are getting rescued in Chile

Babies are being born at St. Vincent Hospital,

lovers are saying "I do" in Spanish Mission Churches

It is a fine Wednesday in Santa Fe,

all good things are shared and obvious.

They are what I see when I look out of the sliding door by my bed as I lay

yet I also view the beautiful sights as a painting

Of what I wish to see and feel

when other corners of my room have raining days

Still, this painting also reminds me of one thing

that is world is not going to stop anytime for you,

you get up, sun's waiting for you, sky's limitless.

Sun brightens, tears of joy over the rescues of miners,

there are good things in the world if we see it,

and believe in it when there are

deaths, disappointments, failures, and raining days in our corners

After all, plants grow after rain,

then good things also grow out of raining days.

This is both hope and faith.

Sweet Summer Days

by Dennis Caraher

The summer sun is nearly done
Frost will follow soon
Asters and chrysanthemums
Light up the afternoon

The dew is on long after dawn
Mornings are a haze
One swallow's song is holding on
In these fading sweet summer days.

We flew across the ocean
Some fell into the sea
God will choose what we will lose
Though we may disagree

We come here to be mended
That we may find our way
We pray that there's redemption
In these fading sweet summer days

Summer months comfort us
The sun comes with sustenance
We live for its lingering light

Days slip away from us
Katydids and crickets hush
We drift into lengthening night.

We were once our children
Too soon they will be us
All they ask, a simple task:
"Remember how it was".

We hold them close, we let them go
We watch them fly away
And if we trust, they'll come to us
In these fading sweet summer days

Stars they are innumerable
We'll never know them all
But nature's not immutable
Every star will fall

And one day, I'll return to thee
And all that will remain
Is the beauty and the certainty
of these fading sweet summer days

changes, betterment

Declaration of My Amends

i can't always live in the moment. i can't always believe my actions happen because of how i feel at that moment. i can't always be sure of my feelings for they do change daily; a part of human nature, i now see that. i've made many mistakes through out my life because i strongly believed that i should live in the moment. as i become older, i see that my destiny is not made of living in the moment but of my values, beliefs, and dreams. So here i am, making amends with myself so at the end of my destiny, I will feel good as a woman, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover, and a mother.

As long as I live, I vow to think twice about and reevaluate everything daily. You know the saying that you've heard once or several times in your life, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." Will the mistakes in your life be any good if you don't think about them?

Minutes are as important as days, I vow to sacrifice my minutes to my loved ones. For they have given me my life. All unreplied emails will be replied, due visits will be made, and plans will go through. Life is too short for love to be under appreciated.

Existence of my being is a privilege, I vow to respect my mentality, spirituality, and physicality. I will seek for the places of happiness. I will only receive and let go of peaceful energy. I will assure that my body is valued. You live only once, do it well.

No goodness, no greatness, I vow to do good things. I will always make sure that I do something good daily. All great things are created by good things that I do. Thomas Jefferson once said, "I am a greatest believer of luck. I find that the harder I work, the more I have of it."

Dare to be brave, I vow to spend most of my life walking. Dreams and Happiness happen because I walk. I must not be afraid. I must not set back. I must not run away. I must not hide. I must walk and get things done. Does the flower grow if you sit on the pot?

So, we know life is full of mistakes, I vow to always try. If on any day I fail any of these amends above, I will not give up. For the sake of changes and betterment, I will always try. As once told by someone, "The only constant thing is change."

Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose - and commit myself to - what is best for me.
Paulo Coelho

Poem of the Day

You Are There

by Erica Jong

You are there.
You have always been
there.
Even when you thought
you were climbing
you had already arrived.
Even when you were
breathing hard,
you were at rest.
Even then it was clear
you were there.

Not in our nature
to know what
is journey and what
arrival.
Even if we knew
we would not admit.
Even if we lived
we would think
we were just
germinating.

To live is to be
uncertain.
Certainty comes
at the end.

Poem of the Day

To My Wife

Some times
when we grab an hour of love
luxuriously in the late afternoon,
the growly baby snoring in the next room, her sisters at the mall,
I feel as if I'm robbing the gods, who have,
some say, all the time in the world.

by Bernard Horn

Wild Wild West - the first stop

Out of spur, just like those pioneers back in early 19th century
They left the East where lives were flourishing along with factories
For something unknown yet so hopeful
A new place in the vast and empty West, surrounded by the bisons
Where a new life can be born out of one's creation.

Heading to the end of the West of America
Beginning tonight 5 hours drive to Flagstaff,
First site of the month, Beaver Creek Campground
In the heart of Coconino Forest, sheltered by cottonwoods
Within drive, there lays a beauty; the red Sedona.

new mexico is special to me. one of reasons is that it has taught me to appreciate diversity and brought me to a place filled with wonderful kids that never cease to teach me one thing everyday.

our parents, they are a different kind of people. i've heard this before that parents understand what children do not say. Does that strike you as something beyond your comprehension?

Really in fact we all know that it is not that complicated, it is simple if we pay attention to their instincts. it's the instincts of parents that make them special and different from any other people in the world.

Always remember our parents raised us the best they could. :)

2:28am

tonight is one of those sleepless nights. figured it was time to change my blog site into more fitting layout that somehow explains my life at this moment.

so what did i do tonight? i wrote an email to one of my oldest friends that i've lost in touch with ever since i entered college. im losing myself in the world of pictures, typical of me.

and i also am sure that i will write more blogs.

I will be 24 soon and I want to do something different for myself.

I want it to be MY year.

the past silhouettes everywhere

every place has a story

its own heroes and villains

wars, woes

discoveries, triumphs

for every inch of every place that we step on,

it bleeds history, stories of past

that lays in the grave

yet defines the present

P is for thoughts...

penser: think - in French

pensare: ponder - in Latin

solitude conceives

thoughts...

distance deepens

thoughts...

love reasons

thoughts...

the best surprise ever.

Amanda came down -- and is staying til 15th. I was absolutely clueless and had no idea this would happen. Bam, I was just surprised right there.

Life has an uncanny knack of how to bring a sunshine in one's life. Out of all days, last Friday, I was miserable. Out of all times, Amanda surprised me that day. :)

Letter To My Unborn Child by Young Dawkins

Someday you will want to know
and I might not be here,
so this is how you were made.

It was a soft night
near the back of June,
clear, for a change, no rain.

Old women were out
gathering healing herbs,
fennel, dog rose and rhu.

Bonfires burned on all seven hills,
drunken young men
leapt through the flames.

Down in the bogsthe fox
fire glowed,
will o' the wisps edged the meadows.

In our bed my wife laughed out loud
at the loving pleasure
of being a woman.

Like any man, I suppose,
I was proud,
and we fell to our sleep both smiling.

You were created
of passion and magic,
in Scotland, on Mid-Summer's Eve.

Here in the North,
that augers you special,
your mother and I believe.

love is made of many little things.

all the big things are found in little things
i remember my teacher once said that
only little things are important because
they create big things

one of the biggest things known to the mankind
and most of all, to myself
...is LOVE;
a creation out of many beautiful little things

It's the little things like

the giggles between you two before taking pictures

and a kiss right after taking pictures

that you know is true love.

It's the little things like

a small but eternal promise that arguments

won't stop you from holding each other to sleep

that you know is true love.

baby

my baby, jem
my baby sister, amanda
my baby brother, andrew
baby, i love you, jem

baby that and baby this
people use that word all the time
to romanticize
to soften

i don't baby that or this,
nor will i baby anyone that comes by my heart
this word is somehow a sacred one
it comes naturally, right out of my mouth

without any intention to
romanticize anyone or soften anyone
but to express a deep & sincere love for one
like my sister, brother, or my dog

baby, one of most common words,
but one will know how much i mean
when i just blurt out of my mouth,
"baby, i love you."

a common sense

Nil Magnum Nisi Bonum

no greatness without goodness.

nostalgia gives life to hope

nostalgia exists so that

we still have hope

believe in hope

wish for one

today

22nd year

Amanda Lily, this is for you and for all good things that you have done for me...
As I get older, I become more appreciative with the idea of celebrating one's birthday. Mainly it is because of you and the family. As there are around 2k miles in the distance between you and me, I now look at birthdays as a wonderful way to appreciate special people's existence.

You are special and always will be--it'd explain all those years of being over protective of you or helping you clean up the mess (remember laundry soap or money running out at cm7, lol)

Because of you and how I love your presence/existence, I will always celebrate birthdays or look at birthdays as something very special for every individual.

Happy Birthday, Amanda, my baby sister.

sad truth?

In every phenomenon

the beginning remains always the most notable moment.
- Thomas Carlyle

19's a youthful number

nineteen, back then, felt like getting older.

5 years later, did this number 19 mean as much as turning into 24?

my thought for today

see the world in 360 degree, you should! 

true, it is hard to do so by yourself -- i forgot how to do that last year but because of her, i regained the ability to do so. world's a beautiful place even on your bad day only if you have the ability to see it. 

be with people who make things real--who put you in many perspectives. this is one of the most selfless actions a person can do for other. 

it's true, all you need is love
the beatles was right
time or place knows no solitude if you got
something called love next to you

i tell to john lennon, a former Beatles,
that love comes in all forms and all shapes
i found something called love in Jemez,
my puppy, who, on one Friday afternoon, I decided to adopt.

If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind,
give it more thought.
- Dennis Roch

It is not you that I refuse
But the memories that I long to avoid
They are reminders of what you may be
They unfold the truth of what may happen between you and I

It is not you that I refuse

it's the number in the miles,

a new town and new mountains,

no old friends but new awkward friends,

family by the Atlantic, myself at the tip of Rockies
that make all the difference.

the transformation

oh my sweet child, when you were out in the field playing
i always watched you as i washed, i beamed every time
you were beautiful and your soul was carefree,
you would not stop swinging tire until it was dark,
with your dog that would always watch over you.

oh my, you are not that kid playing in the field anymore
i've seen you as I wash, and i'm astonished
at how you've changed and you are different,
you walk by the tire and off into the night time you go,
with your soul that always carry your secrets.

Do not's and Do's

Do not be deceived by the look of a person's beauty
it stands out, it takes your breath away,
it makes you wonder and it makes her mysterious

it is wondrous and she is mysterious for a reason
that we do not know until we taste the beauty
and savor it, you will see more truth

in savoring it, you will see that it is never an innocent one
and that it can lure you into anything for it is powerful
and suddenly, you are under her spell

do not write about her beauty, do not sing about her beauty,
it has endured everything to claim the title and it'll never be for you
as she will do everything to be beautiful in the eyes of everyone

Do fall in love with one's beautiful soul
it stands out in its most hidden way, it is breathtaking
it makes you feel rare, it makes her the most beautiful one

it is rare and she is beautiful for a reason
that we do not know until we know that person thoroughly
and be there, you will see more fortunates of life

and in being there, you will see it is the most precious
and that it can bring you to the top of the world
and suddenly, you are holding one of life's gems

do write about her beautiful soul, do sing about her beauty,
it has come out from its hiding place, and it'll be only for you
as she has shown its hidden beauty to only your eyes.

The Tests of Patience...exclusive only at camping

$3 a night. A beautiful sight of the plains as the mountains overcast from the behind. That cost, $3, includes numerous tests of patience as well.


Background: We wanted to go to the southernmost of New Mexico to go camping in warm temperature right after we finish working 3pm on Friday.




Test of Patience #1: approx. 9pm to 10pm


With Albuquerque as a stopover, the drive to Aquirre Springs National Recreation Area, 14 miles from Las Cruces, took us around 4 and half hour of drive. It was already around 9pm that we arrived only to find out that Aquirre Springs were closed with the gates cletched.

It was very dark and we were tired from long drive, it was already late...at that point, we had no choice but we had to be at the campground somehow.

That was the first test of patience. She asked me, "What you think if I drove around the gate on grass?" We had no choice and not a risk-taker type here but I just had to let it happen. And we drove 4x4 around it all right..and onward to the campground, we went with adneraline rush still running inside us.


Test of Patience #2: approx. 12am to 5am


Everything was so cold. I could not even sleep at all. I was shivering nonstop. We did not bring enough blankets. There was barely any sleep for anyone, even Jemez who could not stop barking to all the strange sounds outside. It was her first time camping and sleeping in a tent.


That morning after, we had our nap as the sun shone upon us. Then we headed to Walmart to buy 2 more sleep bags to enjoy another night, a problem solved.


Test of Patience #3: approx. 7am


After the night of being so cold and shivering; fire right away after I get out of the tent sounded ideal. I tried countless times to lit the wood. It was still windy in the morning. With sun peeking, I just made myself comfortable on the ground and kept on trying. It was eventually lit and we had a nice fire that later would make our breakfast burrito.





Test of Patience #4: approx. late 6pm


It had gone dark, fast just like that. We hadn't eaten our dinner yet. I never could see good in dark or night time. We had our steak, gorgonza cheese, and aspargus ready to be cooked.

We lit the fire then waited for it to be at its peak. As it looked perfect, we put steak ans aspargus powdered with pepper and garlic salt. We allowed it to be cooked slowly. It was probably nearly 8pm.



As it was soon to be done, gorogonza was added on the top of steak. In few minutes, aspargus looked perfect and so did the steak. The first taste was savored because it, indeed, tasted perfect although it was already 8pm and it took a hour to cook.





to be continued...

Within innocence, there's always kindness.

It's my 7th month of teaching and it's unbelievable at how much I've learned. Not only I learned about the kids but how they helped me learn about the world and life. It's amazing how there are many dimensons of life/world and it is entirely true that we will never be at some of the dimensons ever in our lifetime thus we will never see and understand these perceptions.

To be honest, when I was in college, I forgot where kindness came from. Sure in college, everyone mingle but they are so much in their own selves. Well these people are experiencing on-going growing process with themselves so they forget about kindness.

Now I am surrounded by kids nearly everyday. I teach science to horomones-raging kids, the middle school students. I coach age 5 to 8 elementary basketball team, and I am strength training coach for high school kids. I see how kids are what invite kindness in the world. It is a perception that I never saw until I became a part of that dimenson of the world.

Kids are born innocent. If we really pay attention we will recognize kids simply become what they are nutured with. A 5 years old boy in my basketball would do anything it takes to win a game. He doesn't care about scoring but a team victory. Another 5 years old boy asked me to go on a pretense zoo trip to visit giraffees, hippos, rhinos, and snakes. A 9 years old boy was at other end of the campus and he ran over to me just to hug me. This junior boy did 10 reps on 145 lbs towel bench press, it was an inital accomplishment but it made this boy proud to the extent. A 13 years old girl cleaned my classroom out of blue and said she wanted to help. I gave a pez candy of star wars to a 5 years old and he was at his happiest.

Sure kids aren't perfect or always adorable but as you can see, within innocence, there is kindness. People are born with kindness. Kindness is our first and foremost trait until we are nutured to what we are exposed to everyday. These kids are still learning everyday but they did not need to learn how to do the most kindest things because it is already within them.

That is why innocence is the most sacred thing and we must fight to ensure that kids maintain their innocence for as long as they can. When they enter into their adulthood, they will eventually lose their innocence to the extremes of life/world but as the kindness has been with them for a long time, it will eventually become them.

Tattoo Idea: Pollock's masterpiece

This is a masterpiece that I would tattoo on myself. This picture, #7, by Jackson Pollock, is testament to many things in my life.

ever since i turned 18, it had been a wild ride for me and the ride is slowing down hence the reason for the ability to recognize that it has been a wild one.

the ride has involved words of love, moments of "once in a lifetime," tales of woes, bumps of struggles, trips to beautiful places, tears of joy and frustration, triumph of hardworking, days of failures, and surprises of life.

all of that is a testament of how the moments in our life are. It's full of everything---from little thing to the biggest thing, from the most saddest one to the most happiest one...basically in other words, life's full of balance.

On the left, it shows lines of life...as you can see--the lines are not rigid. the width & length of lines varies, so are the positions of these lines. isnt that like life in a general concept?

on the right, you can see two people kissing. there are some areas around it that are smeared. it doesn't show but you can feel the energy like you can see both people are hugging each other although it is not visible or presented in the picture. isn't that like moments in our life?

Our life changes constantly. Our moments appear, after they happen, they disappear but we all know that they exist. Isn't it a work of balance? Like black and white. Good and bad. Joy and Angry. Love and Heartbroken. Happy and Miserable. With one exists, another one exists anyways. For it is life.

it'd be a beautiful reminder on my body.

the fading lilacs

this morning, i put away lilacs that
someone special from the past had given to me as
i began a new chapter in my life, my new job

with one look at this lilacs,
i knew she could have been the prettiest flowers
in the entire town but she is fading away

as the spring approaches, a bit ironic, isn't it?
just as much as the memories are questionable now
and that they felt like ages ago but they aren't

laying in my restroom, waiting for a tiresome maid to pick it up
fading doesn't lie, this lilacs is ready to go
everything for a reason, this is for a new season.